


Meet-Cute in the most literal sense possible, if super-powered mercenaries are taken into account

by obeythesithqueen



Category: Spider-Gwen (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: But not in a creepy way, Deadpool is a stalker, First Meetings, I Tried, M/M, Spideypool - Freeform, Umbrellas, actually just the third sentence really, inspired by Kiss by shewearsglasses, sort of in the Spider-Gwen universe, used as swords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obeythesithqueen/pseuds/obeythesithqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{We’re so cool!} </p>
<p>Deadpool slowly pushed the window open, creeping into the apartment. After his last team-up with Spider-Woman, he got a little curious about the person under the mask and might have followed her home in a totally normal, not creepy way. He saw her enter what he presumed to be her apartment, and voila. Here he was. </p>
<p>Or that time when Deadpool followed Spider-Woman home and met her roommate, Peter Parker. </p>
<p>Inspired by "Kiss" by shewearsglasses</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet-Cute in the most literal sense possible, if super-powered mercenaries are taken into account

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1826401) by [shewearsglasses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewearsglasses/pseuds/shewearsglasses). 



> You really don't have to read "Kiss" to understand this story, though I would recommend it, because it is great. In fact the entire series, "The Amazing Spider-Gwen" is great and you should read it--plus each fic is less than 2k words, so it's not like I'm condemning you guys to read this 500k word, 57 chapter fic to understand the 1k words I wrote. Anyway, enjoy!

{We’re so cool!} 

 

Deadpool slowly pushed the window open, creeping into the apartment. After his last team-up with Spider-Woman, he got a little curious about the person under the mask and might have followed her home in a totally normal, not creepy way. He saw her enter what he presumed to be her apartment, and voila. Here he was. 

 

“Huh. Nice digs.”

 

Spidey’s apartment was modest but classy, the walls plain and undecorated. High ceilings, though. He was currently standing in what looked to be the study, judging by the books and papers everywhere.   

 

{Ugh! Spidey’s a nerd.}

 

He hummed. “And a total slob. Look at this.” Deadpool picked up the papers strewn on the floor. 

 

[I was expecting her to be a neat-freak to be honest.]

 

“Yeah I know! And she has the gall to say we eat like a pig!”

 

Deadpool flitted into the hall, careful not to make much sound in case Spidey was home. After peeking his head around the corner and finding no one there, he relaxed. 

 

“Looks like Spidey isn’t home,” he said as he rummaged through the messenger bag on the coffee table, raising his eyebrows at the surprising possessions. 

 

{HA! Spidey wears glasses! She is a nerd!}

 

Deadpool dug further into the bag pulling out a camera. “Ha! Selfie!” He posed taking a few pictures of himself. “Spidey’ll get a kick out of that...ya know after she gets over being pissed about us breaking into her apartment.”

 

[Wait! The camera]

 

{What about it?}

 

[There’s a name on it]

 

{OMG it’s Spidey’s name!}

 

“It says Peter Parker. Wait is Spidey a guy?!?”

 

[Maybe...or it could be a friend of hers}

 

{Or a boyfriend}

 

“Well it could--” Deadpool froze as the door slammed open. A tall brunette walked in, his hair sticking up in every which way looking positively--

 

[{Adorable}]

 

{Hubba hubba}

 

[For once, we agree]

 

Deadpool openly stared slack jawed, at the gorgeous man that came through the door, totally oblivious to the fact that he was not alone. He was slim, limbs long and awkward, carrying a blue satchel overflowing with papers and books. His face was angular, but lacked sharp edges. If anything it looked smooth, the curves of his face flowing naturally into a strong jawline. He was obviously toned, having a runner’s build, but the bulky army green jacket hid his slight musculature. 

 

“Geez Parker. How could you forget your camera!?! I mean--MOTHER FU-HUBBARD!” The young man jumped back, just now realizing that there was a man in a red body-suit, covered in weapons in his apartment. Their eyes met, well technically the bespectacled man’s eyes met the white/black eye patches of Deadpool’s mask. Framed by thick, dark eyebrows were the most beautiful pair of eyes Deadpool had ever seen. Warm golden brown, like swirls of chocolate, natural highlights and contours giving them a depth no picture or painting could ever capture. His glasses only magnified their brilliance, expanding that beautiful cocoa brown into twin pools of color as deep as the universe itself. It rendered the infamous Merc with a Mouth speechless. 

 

[Wow. We sound very poetic.]

 

{Awww how romantic}

 

Parker grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be an umbrella, and pointed it at the mercenary as if it were a sword with one hand, the other threading through his already messy hair. Instead of intimidating, he looked a thousand times more adorable. God Deadpool could just eat him up! “Oh my Jesus. Umm okay. Hi. So you’re in my apartment.” 

 

“Wow. Astounding observational skills, Mr. Parker. I believe this is yours,” Deadpool snarked, holding the camera out to the flustered man, who froze. 

 

“H-how do you know my name?” If anything, he looked even more freaked out now.

 

Deadpool raised his eyebrow, an amused smile visible through the mask on his face. “You said it as you walked inside. Plus, it’s on the camera.”

 

The other man relaxed a bit, letting out a relieved chuckle. “Oh, yeah. Duh.”

 

[He is too cute]

 

{Can we keep him?}

 

“Spidey wouldn’t like it if we stole her boyfriend.” 

 

Parker cocked his head to the side, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Spidey…? She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even know who she is!” 

 

{Aww he thinks he can lie to us! Cute!}

 

Deadpool chuckled. “Well baby boy, Spidey lives in this apartment, and apparently so do you. Sooo you obviously know who she is.” Parker squirmed, his face burning pink at the nickname. He bit his lip, gnawing on the flesh until it turned a darker shade of pink. The umbrella in his hand lowered a fraction as he ran his other hand through his hair yet again. Must be a nervous habit. 

 

“What--” he sighed looking resigned. “What do you want with Spider-Woman? Because I won’t sell her out.” He stood a bit taller, his entire posture screaming determination and confidence, which was…really hot.

 

“Relax, baby boy. I’m a friend. Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to my super bro, well no she’s a girl, so uh super gal pal! I mean who else would I eat victory tacos with? Besides she’s like the only superhero doesn’t hate my jokes! Sure, she doesn’t think they’re funny, but at least she doesn't threaten me with bodily harm! Whenever I make a joke to Wolvy, he gets all stabby-though I would too if I smelled like that all the time. I mean seriously. The guy has super smell, but can’t tell he smells like an old pair of sweaty socks?”

 

[We’re rambling.]

 

Before Deadpool could retort, a laugh interrupted his train of thought. Parker--no Peter, his name was Peter--was laughing. And what a sound that was. It was musical and warm and perfect.

 

{He-He thinks we’re funny?!?}

 

“I guess so,” Deadpool whispered to Yellow/squiggly brackets astonished, his eyebrows practically in his hairline in surprise. 

 

[We are keeping this one. Praise him. Date him. Mary him. Father his children. Nobody has ever thought we’re funny. I think we finally found someone who actually likes us.]

 

After a slightly awkward period of silence as Peter’s laughter died down, the man realized the other’s shock and gave him a sheepish smile. He looked up at Deadpool through his eyelashes. “I’m sorry. It’s just, you’re funny.”

 

[We are so screwed]

 

{Yep.}

 

Deadpool flushed under his mask, not that Peter could tell, and cleared his throat. “Well thank you. You’d be the first to think so.”

 

[This is great and all, but shouldn’t we introduce ourselves before we try and seduce our way into his pants?]

 

“Oh duh! I totally forgot to introduce myself! I’m--”

 

“Deadpool, yeah I know. Gw--uh Spider-Woman told me about you.” 

 

“Ah. And judging by the fact you haven’t run away yet, I assume they’re all good things?”

 

There it was again, that beautiful laughter. It filled the entire room with its mirth; Deadpool had no choice but to smile and laugh along. Smiling brighter, Peter nodded, his entire body rocking with the motion. 

{Well he knows our name. Let the seduction begin}

 

For the second time today, the door slammed open, causing Deadpool to freeze. “Hey Peter, do you know where I left my--DEADPOOL?!?!”

 

[Time to go]

 

The blonde-haired woman who just walked in the apartment--Peter really needed to lock his door--immediately crouched, assuming a defensive position in front of Peter. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!?!?”

 

[Told you she’d be mad]

 

Deadpool scurried out of the room and dove through the open window. “Well, this was fun, baby boy, but I gotta scram. Catch ya later.” And he jumped off the platform. 

 

{It’s like we’re flying!}

 

[We cannot fly]

 

“Oh. This is gonna hurt. AHHHHHHH!!!”

* * *

 

Gwen glared at Peter. “Really Peter?” she growled. If anything, his innate ability to look like a kicked puppy made her feel bad, especial when he flinched at her tone, but seriously? She was gone for literally ten minutes. She just can’t leave him alone, now can she. She sighed and pinched her nose. Lord knows that wasn’t the last time Deadpool would pay a visit to her apartment. 

 

“You know he’s never going to leave you alone now, right?” And instead of looking ashamed or sorry, Peter had the gall to smile. Not sarcastically or obnoxiously, but genuinely smile to himself. Ughh! Boys were hopeless. “Whatever. It’s your life. Don’t come crying to me when you’ve had enough of him.”

 

Though judging by his expression, Gwen seriously doubted Peter would ever have enough of Deadpool anytime soon. And as irritating it would be for her to deal with Deadpool, she couldn’t find it within herself to be angry or disgusted. Peter Parker the adorkable, fumbling nerd was smitten with the Merc with a Mouth. Who’da thunk it?


End file.
